Allowing our children to learn and explore.

Last weekend we had Sharan’s two sisters and their partners visit and spend the entire weekend with us laughing and joking. It was wonderful, and I for one can’t wait for the next time we get together. However, without doubt the highlight of their visit was spending time with my 3 ½ year old niece, Ruby. I’m sure you can imagine how energy sapping the experience can be when you’re out of the habit of looking after young children. Our house was full of life again, and it was wonderful to be a small part of her life experience. 

Ruby will be four in September, and already she is showing traits of a natural born leader. She had every one of us running around after her and it was her who decided who she wanted to spend time with and which activity they would be doing. It was so much fun, I loved every minute of it. 

As a people watcher I was intrigued to watch the interactions between Ruby and her parents (Mimmo & Perween). I’m sure every parent goes through this but I was fascinated at how the parents balanced the delicate art of allowing Ruby to explore the world around her, whilst at the same time fighting their natural urge to keep her safe. 

This was Ruby’s first visit to our house so naturally her parents were on high alert to ensure nothing was spilt or broken. They needn’t have worried, we don’t really have anything of value so wouldn’t have minded the odd breakage and most spills can be washed out so we were fairly relaxed about everything, but that didn’t stop them from keeping a close eye on her. 

And this got me thinking of my own parenting skills and how we managed this balance between our urge to keep our children safe and their desire to explore the world. 

I’m sure my children would agree when I say this, I’m no expert in the art of raising children. However as a shopkeeper I have been in the privileged position of being able to observe thousands of parent/child interactions; and have been able to mould my own parenting skills on what I seen to work for others, whilst at the same time tried very hard to eliminate bits that weren’t working so well for either me or other parents. 

Our experience of raising our children was very different from what Mimmo & Perween are currently experiencing. For a start we were fortunate to be living on the edge of the countryside, whereas they living in just south of the River Thames. Our girls were brought up on a quite road with very little traffic; again their road is quite busy with lots of cars and traffic. Our children had the freedom to wonder into our garden as and when they chose, they have to ensure the area is free from urban foxes before they allow Ruby to play in their garden. So although our points of reference are/were very different, I’m sure our aim to nurture and raise a well balanced, rounded human being is the same.  

Children are inquisitive by nature and I feel we as parents must allow them the time and space to learn and explore their surrounding regardless of the obstacles that may be in their way. In fact I strongly feel that the greater the obstacle the more we should encourage the child to explore; otherwise they’ll grow up fearing the world instead of being able to enjoy its natural beauty. 

Could you imagine how a simple chore like going to shops could be turned into an adventure? Every bush, every puddle of water, every bird and every person you meet along the way can potentially open up a world of possibilities for the child. Could you imagine having a conversation with your child about that bird you’ve just seen, where does it live? Does it have kids? What is it doing? What does it eat…etc? Or how about that prickly bush you’ve just passed, why not stop and allow your child to touch a needle (obviously under your supervision) as you explain to them why the bush has thorns. It’s these simple things that allow our children to imagine and create a world of possibilities around them. 

Alas, I fear we spend too much time telling our kids what they can’t and shouldn’t do rather than what they can and should do. That very subtle change in emphasis is all it takes to allow your child to develop and grow. 

As for young Ruby, she is fortunate to have two loving parents and is surrounded by a network of friends and family who will all aid her in her development. She is and will be a superstar and I for one am very fortunate that I’m a part of her life and I can't wait to see her mature into a beautiful, well rounded adult.

Ammo